A Time to Remember (A Mama's Love is Forever)

My husband and I planned a “remembrance” party for what would have been our son’s second birthday.  We asked our families to come prepared to share their favorite memories of him.  Over the next several weeks and months I will share some of those stories so that others may join us in remembering the special person that he was.  I have chosen to share my favorite memory first. 

I love remembering my life with my son.  I have so many special memories with him and of him.  My favorite memory occurred right after I went back to work, after being at home with him all summer.  I went to pick him up from daycare at the end of the day, so excited since being away from him for any amount of time resulted in “withdrawals” of a very serious nature.  As I was walking down the sidewalk towards the house, I could see him through the sliding glass doors.  He was wearing a brown Carter’s romper that said “handsome” in orange letters. He was handsome; such a happy, beautiful little boy.  He was watching and waiting for me, standing on the other side of the doors grinning from ear to ear, clapping his little hands, and literally bouncing up and down, at least the best an 18 month old can bounce up and down, because he was so very excited to see me.  The memory is a favorite because it’s a reminder that the love I have for my son was mutual.  Even though he was only 18 months old, he loved me too.  My heart melts when I remember the extent of this very special love, a love shared between a mother and her son.  This memory is special for a second, maybe even more important reason.  In my mind this is exactly what I imagine my son might look like the day I finally get to see him again.  I long for that day. I long to see him again, grinning from ear to ear, clapping his little hands, and bouncing up and down because he is so excited that we get to be together once more and that this time we will never for all of eternity be apart again.  I will never forget my son.  I will never “move on” from him.  How could I? Why would I?  He still exists, just in a form I can’t see or touch.  He and I have so much time left together.  While having him and losing him has forever shaped the person I am and the person I will be, he is still a bigger part of my future than he is of my past.